Las flores de la oscuridad
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
Low times.
I am so down and so disgusted of myself. I cringe just thinking about last weekend. I want to push all of my friends away, I want to be forgotten and left alone. I know I have no right feeling this way. I know I have a very blessed and privileged life with my loving family, good friends and the greatest husband on earth. But still I can not handle myself and I feel so so much guilt and self loathing for being this way. I'm not doing very well in my therapy ... or anything else except eating, watching TV and sleeping. I do not go out unless I need more sugar and fat for my ever growing ass. Don't worry I am not going to kill myself again not unless I die of massive coronary or other related obese illnesses. I'm thinking about looking at some "pro ana" sites to get some inspration. Well everyone I hope I wont see you soon. I just need my space right now. It's not you it's me....yes really.
I am so down and so disgusted of myself. I cringe just thinking about last weekend. I want to push all of my friends away, I want to be forgotten and left alone. I know I have no right feeling this way. I know I have a very blessed and privileged life with my loving family, good friends and the greatest husband on earth. But still I can not handle myself and I feel so so much guilt and self loathing for being this way. I'm not doing very well in my therapy ... or anything else except eating, watching TV and sleeping. I do not go out unless I need more sugar and fat for my ever growing ass. Don't worry I am not going to kill myself again not unless I die of massive coronary or other related obese illnesses. I'm thinking about looking at some "pro ana" sites to get some inspration. Well everyone I hope I wont see you soon. I just need my space right now. It's not you it's me....yes really.
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